NOTE: THIS FILE WAS ORIGINALLY DATED 2002/04/09 14:30:06 the time stamp has changed due to migration to new server host. ----- original file below----- How to (or what to avoid) become me, in 5 easy steps, (email me if you want to make any changes or add yours) --------------- Become PhoenixX: --------------- 1: Move somewhere secluded, and get really shy and awkward around pretty girls. 2: Get a PC with internet access, your only social outlet. 3: Always seem to only find girls, who are in a relationship, married, having children, way too old, way too young, lesbians or live so far away they may as well live on the moon. 4: Try as hard as you can to find the right girl online, never seem to find them -- remain single, and never get "lucky". Repeat for 2 to 8 years or more. 5: Never lie at all, always have such low self esteem you are completely honest no matter what a girl asks you. At this point you probably amuse yourself by doing odd things, such as swatting at non-existent things for no apparent reason, and get so distracted by girls in the street that you prefer to spend most of your time looking at the ground in front of you when you walk anywhere so you dont walk into something. Most likely you are miserable at your own patheticness, and so desperate you now probably scare off the few girls who do try to talk to, which only serves to make you feel worse. -------------- Become Monkey- -------------- 1. bludge at everything 2. scab as much stuff as u can for free (that includes sex and cable) 3. sleep 4. sleep some more 5. eat a lot At this point you probably think you are the king of the world. Your whole future is ahead of you.. what to do next is the question? ------------ Become Nikki ------------ 1: be born, grow up to be a sexi thang 2: find a guy and stay with him to the dissapointment of other guys 3: torment your guy with how often you find yourself attracted to other women (even when your joking) 4: be even more sexy 5: still sexy At this point everyone wants you (even the girls) and you know it.. and all you want is the guy you have already.. bwhahaha --------------- Become Supadupa --------------- 1: Have an uneventful childhood 2: Meet a cool chick and hang with her 3: Become a famous radio announcer 4: get hundreds of fans 5: never change even tho your a megastar now (the above in no way reflects Supadupas opinion of himself it is here until he completes one himself) --------------- Become Witchy --------------- 1: Cause you rock, get born. 2: Rock some more 3: Ooze coolness 4: stay cute 5: Give up, cause there can only be one Witchy :P ---------- Become Nic ---------- 1: Laugh 2: Insist you have no idea 3: Be vague 4: Find everything funny 5: Laugh some more just to be sure ---------------- OK now, Compare yourself to that person, by now you're probably just like them. Congratulations, You are now your chosen me.